Trip to Puerto Rico 2023

In the midst of the lush beauty of Puerto Rico, we embarked on a bittersweet journey, carrying the weight of an unexpected and devastating loss. Just six months prior, our entire lives were altered with the loss of our incredible son, Cole. His memory now accompanied us like a gentle whisper in the tropical breeze. Both heartwarming and equally heart-wrenching.

Cole would have absolutely loved the elegant El Conquistador resort. The grandeur of the surroundings served as a comforting embrace and the views were breathtaking. The tram that ran 24/7 up and down the cliff would have been one of Cole’s favorite parts of the resort. He also would have totally gotten a kick out of the talking parakeets.

While traveling to the El Yunque National Forest the girls sang some of their favorite songs from shows they enjoyed years ago. It made me think of Cole and how he loved Cocomelon with all his might. Every visit to Target he would beg for us to buy the doll. I had my sunglasses on so no one saw the tears streaming down my face as I discussed some of Cole’s favorite things. With heavy hearts, we ventured into the enchanting rainforest of Fajardo, looking for solace in the serenity of nature’s wonders. The vibrant colors of the flora and the soothing sounds of cascading waterfalls offered a sense of peace, a temporary respite from the pain that lingered within.

The following evening, we embarked on the eerie kayaking expedition, guided by the same moonlight that once danced in Cole’s eyes. The bioluminescent organisms glowed like stars in the water, illuminating the darkness and creating a surreal, almost mystical atmosphere. For a moment I almost forgot about my crying daughter who was terrified to be out kayaking in the pitch black.

In San Juan, amidst the ancient walls of Cristobal Fort, we attempted to find strength in the echoes of history. Standing on the same grounds where generations had come before, I felt a sense of continuity, a reminder that life, despite its unpredictable and unfair twists, carried on.

We happened to stumble upon a gift shop that had a Puerto Rico license plate souvenir with the name Cole on it. At first glance, I felt the tears as I held the plate in my hands and wished so badly that I could show Cole his name. I put it back on the rack and continued to walk around the store as if I was looking for something, but really was just wandering and missing my baby boy.

And so, amidst the beauty of Puerto Rico and the weight of our tragic loss, we discovered moments of healing. Each step, each shared glance, and each memory created during our vacation became a tribute to Cole’s spirit, a testament to the enduring power of love in the face of devastating loss.

As we returned home, our hearts remained heavy and Mark took out the license plate with Cole’s name that I had put back. He bought it because he knew I wanted it. Intertwined with the memories of our Puerto Rican adventure, there was a newfound sense of resilience. In the midst of tragedy, we found a way to honor Cole’s memory, embracing life’s beauty even in the shadow of grief. And through this resilience, we’ve discovered the strength to carry on, one step at a time.