I started a challenge thirty days ago for myself and really what inspired me to do so was the idea that it was Daughter’s Day. There’s no better gift for Daughter’s Day than paving the way for their future by teaching them how to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. For thirty days I have complimented at least one woman per day. I challenged others to do so as well and I truly believe that if we made this part of our daily lives, it would become a habit. We would become great role models for our daughters and little by little we would change the world… For the better… For women! I know, there goes Wendy Kubista (again) trying to change the world!
It wasn’t hard, but it was definitely conscious. The first day I told another woman that she was a phenomenal role model for her children. Getting her Doctorate was such a great sense of accomplishment and she has shown her kids that the sky is the limit. The second day, I told a woman who was struggling with being a SAHM and E-Learning that it’s ok to have days that you feel like you’re rocking it, days that you feel like you’re failing at it, and days you just want to quit. I told her what makes her admirable is she does it all with a smile on her face, love in her heart, and wakes up each and every morning with a fresh mind. On the third day I told a grieving woman that it’s normal that she misses her Mom (who passed away) and her Mother lives inside her and her wonderful traits are seen daily by the example she sets for her children. The same characteristics that her Mother instilled in her. The fourth day, I consoled a woman who was questioning her ability to be good at her job. She felt like she wasn’t good enough and at a breaking point. I simply told her that everyone of us has days like this and sometimes we just need a nice warm bubble bath to get us back on the right track. I reminded her of all the accomplishments she’s had over the years in that same role. Therefore, she needs to get right back on that roller coaster, throw her hands up in the air, put a smile on her face, and enjoy the ride. I reminded her of things that she had overcome in the past and this is simply another pebble she needed to step over. On the fifth day, I sent a woman a message that stated how proud of her I was because she changed her son’s tracheostomy all by herself for the first time… WOW! What an accomplishment! I told my daughters teacher that I was so impressed with how she’s adapted to this new normal. She has kept the students attention, taught them not only the curriculum, but specifics on how to navigate via E-Learning. I’ll never forget her response. She told me she needed that feedback so bad because she wasn’t sure she was doing a good job at. She said she felt lost and this new normal was so challenging.
I did this for thirty days straight and the best part is, the more I did this, the easier it became. My eight year old did this with me and it was such an awesome experience. I kept a journal and documented who we lifted, Why we lifted them up, And how it made them feel. After thirty days this has become a habit, similar to brushing your teeth… You just do it everyday and when you are done you feel better about it. I recently told a woman that she inspired me to see things differently in our male dominated workforce. She’s helped me see a room differently when I walk into it, for the better. For example, I grew up with brothers and I was a Tom Boy who only played with boys so when I would walk into a conference room and I was one of the only females, I didn’t even notice it. When I would walk into a conference room and there was only one African American, it didn’t even dawn on me. I’ve been color blind my whole life and if I want to have a positive impact, I have to be aware of diversity not blind to it. There is absolute truth to having more success with more diversity. I have seen it with my own sales team. We have a very diverse team, we all think differently and collaboratively, and therefore we all have incredible results every single year as ONE team!
As I thought about this woman who has inspired me to see differently, I thought of all the women in my life that have had a positive influence and inspired me. The list is pretty intense and it’s no doubt that it’s time I start making a conscious effort to give back and inspire others. I had so many teachers that pushed me to be my best, helping me achieve things I never knew my brain was capable of. I had hundreds of coaches throughout my life, but one that sticks out above the rest. I had a basketball coach who I actually hated because she constantly challenged me and I was stubborn, thought I was the best and didn’t like being challenged. One day, I showed up to practice and she threw a shirt at me and told me to go change. I was the only person getting a shirt and when I went to the locker room and looked at it, it read”don’t make excuses just fix it.” I didn’t put it on and I went home. I remember going home and telling my parents I quit basketball. That went over like a lead balloon and I was back at practice the next day. This coach has seriously changed my outlook on life and gave me a whole new positive perspective. I used to make every excuse in the book and she recognized that and wanted to break that habit. She broke it alright and I owe her a huge thank you! Life could’ve been very different for me if I had made an excuse for everything and reasons why I could not.
In 1997, while being a three sport athlete, I started working part time at UPS. I worked for someone that immediately instilled priorities into me. I told her being in High School and playing sports, there would be times I would be tardy. At that time, I was punching a time clock and over a five year period, I may have punched in on time five times total. I’ll never forget what my manager said to me, early on. At seventeen years old, she told me “my priorities are; My family, my education, my athletics, and then UPS.”
My Mother has been an incredible influence in my life and my number one supporter. I remember thinking if I’m half the Mother she is, I’ll be alright. My Mother taught me that things will be hard, but you don’t quit. She taught me not everyone will treat you right or fairly, but you should always treat everyone fairly and respectfully. She has a heart of gold and she would give her last dollar to a stranger, if they needed it. She’s taught me that it’s more important and impactful to give than receive.
Now, for the most inspirational woman/child in my life… My daughter. It may seem weird that in eight short years of her life she could have that kind of impact, but it’s absolutely true. She has taught me a whole new meaning of perspective. She is wise way beyond her years. I remember getting a call from her school and I was, literally, walking into a meeting. I answered it because her school never calls me. It was the social worker and she seemed extremely concerned. She began asking weird questions pertaining to finances and our home life. After a minute or so she explained that Lexi told her teacher and entire class that her family does not have any money and we live in the woods with the lions and bears. At first, I was totally worried and flabbergasted, but as soon as the lions and bears got brought up, I was slightly irritated that the school didn’t have enough sense to understand there are clearly no lions or bears in any of the woods that we live around. The whole day I was confused as to why Lexi would tell this story. I was actually quite irritated because it didn’t make sense. I decided it was important for me to leave work early to pick her up from school and have a discussion with her. Her eyes looked right up at me and she said Mommy a boy in my class slept in his car last night with his Mommy because his parents are fighting and getting divorced. I didn’t want him to feel alone so I told everyone I lived in the woods to make him feel better. I immediately gave her a big hug, told her she had a big heart, and discussed other strategies to make someone feel better versus lying about her family living in the woods. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t amaze with her little brother. We were at a park one day when a young girl walked up to Cole and said what’s wrong with him? He is creepy. I wanted to punch her in the face. However, Lexi very delicated explained that he is not creepy and he simply breathes out of a trach because he can’t breathe out of his mouth and his nose like us. I, literally, sat there in awe. How is an 8 year old so mature that she is able to simply explain the facts and make others more aware? In kindergarten there was a girl that bullied Lexi and one evening Lexi explained why she forgives that girl. She explained the girl’s Dad had died and her Mom lived in a different state so this girl had to live with her Grandparents. Lexi imagined the girls life was hard. Lexi was happy her family was together and always wanted us to be together. When Lexi was only two years old her and I drove 5 1/2hrs one way every Thursday and Sunday to see Cole when he was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Cincinnati. It didn’t dawn on me until years later, but she was incredible and patient for each and every one of these trips. We did this for four months. Think about that…. That’s over 180hrs of driving… For a 2 year old! Never did she give me a hard time, never did she complain, and as long as I was singing nursery rhymes with her, she was good. I remember buying a cd of nursery rhymes and as soon as I put it in, Lexi informed me that she didn’t want to listen to this she wanted her and I to sing together. I will tell you it’s not easy bawling your eyes out after leaving your baby and husband in the hospital and singing baa baa black sheep, but boy did I need it. Inspirational is an understatement! She has motivated me to want to help others, she has inspired me to create awareness of her brother’s differences versus getting upset about people’s ignorance. Most importantly, she has inspired me to get up every day with a smile on my face and determined to make a difference.
I love this! You are and awesome individual!
Thank you WO!